Thoughts I have in an elevator

So I had to go to the doctor today, and my doctor is at the hospital. Let me tell you, the hospital is full of grossness.  Here are some things I thought in the various elevators I was forced to share rides in. 

“I really feel like 65 is too old to be wearing a matching thug sweatsuit complete with jesus chains and a grill.”

“Stop staring at me stop staring at me stop staring at me stop staring at me…”

“Holy hell, that girl has more freckles than actual skin.”

“It smells like beef in here. Do I smell like beef?”

“Oh please, lady. Please don’t throw up. Oh God, oh God, oh God. If you throw up I will throw up. In your mouth. In this 4×4, stuffy, slow, un-air conditioned space. That’s right, you sip your 7-Up.”

“Don’t get on… don’t get on… don’t get on… don’t get on… fuck.”